gomer-b

i have been avoiding this place all week. i just couldn't bring myself to come and write. even now i am distracting myself with various things. i don't know why it has been so hard for me to write.

well, monday and tuesday were my last days at work for this year. they were both crazy days and i had to work longer hours than the doctor wanted me to. i just wanted to make sure that i left with as much stuff completed as i could.
i am not sure how i feel about leaving work. i love not going to work everyday, but i need to be well and i need to make money. i have to go back in january regardless so i am not sure what this month off is accomplishing.

wednesday, thursday and friday were filled with stress due to an argument with my husband. we always seem to disagree on money issues. i had set aside a small amount of money to spend on christmas gifts this year. when he found out about it he was very upset. he felt the money should go toward one of our bills instead of gifts. i had a very, very hard time with the idea of not buying any gifts for my family. we argued and fought and stomped around and threw fits and finally on friday i realized that i was missing the bigger picture. i was so caught up in who was right or wrong or him getting his way that i missed that fact that we really needed to pay this bill. we could still have christmas without gifts. i guess the true meaning of christmas was getting lost. i truly enjoy spending the time to find a gift for the ones i love, but there are other ways to show love. it is a hard lesson to learn.

i do feel good about the fact that i took the time to think the problem through and i am happy about my decision. usually when my husband and i are faced with a disagreement i play the sacrifice card.
"fine, what ever you say is right. i'll give up what i want just to make you happy."

then i would pout and make his life miserable because i didn't get my way. this time i thought it through and realized he was making a valid point. when i decided to do what he suggested it felt good because i was doing it for the right reason. as hard as these few days have been i am happy with the outcome.